Finding Our Way Back to the Ranch

The past few months have changed our lives in ways I never could have imagined.

In March, Ryan and I separated, but we remained a family and continued living together while navigating what that next chapter of life would look like. In July, we lost Ryan to suicide, and our world was turned upside down. There really aren’t words to explain the kind of grief that comes with losing someone who has been such a huge part of your life, especially when that person is the father of your children.

Since then, life has been about surviving one day at a time. I’ve been trying to help our kids navigate a loss no child should ever have to experience, while learning how to navigate this new life ourselves. The ranch, the animals, the garden, and all the plans we had for Anorak Ranch took a backseat while we tried to find our footing again.

I recently added a dedication to Ryan here on our website because his place in our story will always matter. He was part of the life and family behind this ranch, and that will never change. Even though life took us in different directions, he will always be loved, and he will always be our kids’ dad.

Now, we’re slowly finding our way back to the things we love and the work we’ve put into building Anorak Ranch. That doesn’t mean we aren’t still hurting. We are. There are hard days, and there will be plenty more. Grief doesn’t follow a schedule, and it certainly doesn’t disappear just because life keeps moving.

But we also have a family to support, bills to pay, animals to care for, and a future we still need to build. The reality is that we need the income from the ranch, and we need to keep moving forward, even on the days when our hearts aren’t quite ready.

So, we’re giving ourselves permission to start again, imperfectly and at our own pace. We’re relaunching the website, getting back to sharing what’s happening around the ranch, and working toward growing Anorak Ranch into what we always hoped it could be.

If you’ve supported us, checked in on us, purchased from our farm stand, or simply kept our family in your thoughts, thank you. Your support means more than you know, especially during a time when even the smallest things can feel overwhelming.

We may be returning to the ranch, but we’re not leaving Ryan behind. We’re carrying his memory with us as we find our way forward.

Here’s to new beginnings, healing in our own time, and continuing to grow something meaningful here at Anorak Ranch.

With love and gratitude,

The Anorak Ranch Family